& the remaining 45 state legislatures who've made a habit of writing blatant discrimination into law:




wake up, already. there's no reason for this. none except an irrational fear of something different.

sincerely,
rational minds across america

it's official: you still do things to me.

It's been a really good thanksgiving, aside from me breaking the kitchen sink and flooding the floor while the potatoes were still on the stove and yams/3 kinds of broccoli casserole was in the oven. HAA.

Well, all's well that end's well. And let me tell you what! The food ENDED. WELL. YUMM.

Hahaha, oh kristina blehm:
"gahhhh i wish i could jump in the show for a few seconds.
and be like.
finn. it's not your baby
schue. it's not A baby
haha"

ohh glee. makes me oh-so happy.

black friday tomorrow. possible richmond-ian adventures this weekend.

always gotta look on the bright side, kiddos.

I've learned that I'm the kind of girl who shaves my legs when no one is going to touch them and wears sexy underwear when no one will see it. I like that about myself.

Music is my new favorite lover. Honestly, what did people do before the days of itunes?


You tell me, "That it's getting better",
But, everytime that we say goodnight, goodnight, goodnight,
I am haunted by your eyes and how long they've been crying.

Don't tell me about a bad reaction,
Don't tell me that you plan to hide, to hide, to hide,
Reasoning aside

I'm moving on,
I hope you're coming with me.


Honestly, someone could win my heart by playing the right song outside my window on a boombox 'Say Anything' style.

I went to the funny bone tonight, but I had to play the responsible card & not drink because I was DDing for my tipsy brother and his friend. Anddd the comedian I actually went to see (Ian Bagg) ended up canceling. I was bummed because he apparently has this amazing australian/irish accent I'll never get to hear.

bummer dude.

Ohh I am so excited that it's Thanksgiving Eve. I think tomorrow has the potential to be a grand day.




peace, love & turkeyss

I'm letting this go. Do what you need to do. Find yourself and be who you are. That's what's most important.

Just...don't expect me to be ready and waiting when you've exhausted all of your other options.

And I was your silver lining
High up on my toes
You were running through fields of hitch-hikers
As the story goes

Hooray hooray
I'm your silver lining
Hooray hooray
But now I'm gold


So lets play a game called "Keep my mind off of what today might have been"! How do you play? Well, first spend a day crying to yourself in the dark whenever possible. Then, grow a pair and get out of your house. Spend time with family and friends who care. And whatever you do, shoot the hell out of that thought-you know the one-every single fucking time it creeps into your brain.

It's my Dad's birthday. Er.. at least the day on which we are CELEBRATING my Dad's birthday & my whole family is in Harrisonburg. What a blessing. I planned a little birthday lunch at The Blue Nile downtown, I hope we can have a peaceful and pleasant lunch. I really need it.

My mom is a really amazing person. Even aside from the "she gave me life" factor, I don't know what I'd do without her. She never lets me dwell on things, and that's important. And I can.not. tell you what a blessing it is that I can talk to her about it this time. When she was going through stuff with my Dad, everyone told her to get a good lawyer and get out. But she knew it wasn't right. She knew what she had built with my Dad was worth the work.

...Not that I'm saying this is the same thing. It's not. And I am not as strong as my mom. My mom could forgive anyone for anything. But I admire her so much for listening to her heart and to her God, and not to people around her. That's hard to do.

Yesterday, my mom brought me wedding pictures of my German Sister, Lisa. I can't believe it. She looked SO BEAUTIFUL... I cannot believe that she is a bride. Er.. a wife. I wish I could have gone to the wedding... Gosh.

Last night Bowman came over and we watched a really cute movie called "Itty Bitty Titty Committee". I loved it. & I fell in love with Sadie. I wish she were a real person.







I also love Katie for coming over.

And I love Ali and Ekat for cheering me up like WHOA on friday night with nail polish, pina coladas, britney spears and penis straws. Not to mention a psycho kitty who stole all of the brownies.

OKAY. Time to get out of bed and over myself.

Maybe I spoke too soon.





I don't even have the words to describe what I feel now. I don't think I'll ever get over this.

I hate that I can't talk about it. I am an open book. You are not.

At some level, that has always been our problem. I have felt like you have don't tell me anything, and you feel like I pry.

You shouldn't have lied.

I can't think about this any more. I am hurt, angry and driving myself crazy.

I miss the person I fell in love with. I miss my best friend so much it hurts.

I won't stay down much longer. I can't. I'm wasting so much time being heart broken. In the past two weeks, I've spent more time alone in my dark room then I spent combined in the previous three months. I have to get my life back. I have to smile and laugh again, because even when I fake it, I eventually believe myself. And once I move on, there is no turning back.

I have a good feeling about November.

October was a month of change for me. Changing my major, my career path, and my relationship status in the span of less than a month has left me spinning... It has felt a little overwhelmed and a little out of control.

But I have a good feeling about November. November will be a healing month for me. I'll figure my life out and, with God's help, put my life back together.. at least a little bit.

I went to church tonight. It's nice to worship alone sometimes. It's freeing to be in a sanctuary where no one knows my name nor i theirs and yet all of a sudden we join in praise.

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away
Rev. 21:1





He has made himself my only option. He has pulled me back to him in a way I never expected, but I know now that I can't begrudge it. He has read the end of my book. He knows the way my life will turn out and I trust him completely

As a side note... is it weird that in my head, God looks like Dumbledore?

but it's true.

God is opening windows left and right for me.

second semester junior year and I'm completely changing my life goals. with three semesters left, I have 45 necessary credits remaining to complete my 2 majors, and that is exactly enough to fill the next year and a half of my academic life.

This is a good change. Finally something I'll be good at.

My favorite 4th grader is moving to another Elementary school as of next week. It's really sad... she brightens my day. I want to always be as positive as she is, not to mention as adorably hilarious.

i'm getting stronger. i can feel it. and as much as i hate it, i think maybe i needed this too. i want to thank you for having the strength to do it. for both of us.

this is shit.

i can't even be around you. my heart forgets so quickly and i just feel so safe and then my head swiftly kicks my heart in the ass.

you're not mine. i don't want to let myself pretend that you are.

i don't know what to do. i hate this limbo we're in.

you say it's temporary. it's a break. but nothing will change if i'm still around. you'll never get what you need if i just trail you like the lovesick puppy i am.

you walked. i have to accept it.

when i'm busy, i tell myself that i can do this. i tell myself im strong enough this time. all i have to do is keep moving, keep breathing and not stop til i know i'll immediately fall asleep.

i don't want to sit around and think anymore. my heart still wants this but i can't give in to something i'm MAKING UP.

being with you now is a cushion. it's hot dogs and happy meals and things that make me feel good at the time and only leave me feeling empty and guilty later.

I am no longer in a relationship. I am alone. I am...single.

it's like you heard me before i even spoke.
"Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom."
-- Marcel Proust



We had an awesome weekend in NYC, but our bus from DC to NYC was two hours late leaving and we had to wait an hour and a half of it out in the cold rain... anddd now I'm sick =*(

But other than that our trip was blessedly uneventful!

On Saturday, Melissa and I got tickets to see Mary Poppins and ended up in a private box seat for thirty bucks each! We tried to coax katie and scheller to come with us, but they weren't interested =( That's alright, not everyone can be Broadway Baby! & those who aren't are TOTALLY missing out! It was an AWESOME show! I loved it and I SOBBED for the whole last 20 minutes =P I got a picture with Mary herself plus autographs from almost the entire cast =) It was wonderful =) Also, I have a new Halloween costume idea. just guess..




That night we ventured into Little Italy and had dinner at a very strange little place... the food was alright, but I wish we'd picked a different restaurant because the atmosphere was just so...strange! Haha, but then we went to a place claiming to have the WORLD'S BEST CANNOLI, and though I was skeptical at first, they definitely made a believer outta me! & I loved that on our walk home, there were street vendors just selling Cannoli. Too funny!

& After dinner we went back to Scheller's and the four of us played a game called Celebrity that is one of my favorites. I love being surrounded by people who understand (not so) obscure references to gay culture.

On Sunday, we went to the Museum of Natural History and paid a visit to the dinos! It was very cool, but very crowded because it was 40 degrees and raining outside! We got a VERY EXPENSIVE lunch at the Museum Cafe, but I rest assured knowing that my $10 turkey sandwich contributes to the life of a museum!

Then we took the subway back down to Times Square and entered into a lottery for $25 Front Row seats for a new musical called Next to Normal starring Alice Ripley, one of Melissa's favorite singers.

And, as luck would have it, we BOTH won! It was crazy lucky, and I gave my 2 ticket winnings back because I didn't need them. The show was AWESOME and we were SO CLOSE! We literally could have reached out to touch the actors, but we refrained for fear of lessening the quality of the performance =P Tip: Buy "I'm Alive" on iTunes IMMEDIATELY. After the show, we met all of the male leads from the cast and Melissa got a picture with one of the actors who also has a reoccuring role on Gossip Girl, a TV show a lot of my friends are into.

We then got some VERY EXPENSIVE desserts at the oldest Delicatessen in Times Square! ($15 for a piece of chocolate cake and a cookie!) Before heading back to Scheller's for dinner. A little backwards, we know... but life is short! Sometimes you just have to eat dessert first. Scheller is an organic vegan and she made some DELICIOUS butternut squash ravioli and some salad with tomatoes and avacadoes... YUMMM.


So after dinner we only had a few hours before we needed to leave for the bus and we watched Father of the Bride II! Mom, thanks for educating me in classic Hollywood films! Scheller loved the Steve Martin versions but she had no idea that there was an original starring the great Liz Taylor!

Then we headed back to the Subway and went to Penn Station where our bus picked us up (On time this time =)) and rode back to DC where our friend Amber picked us up and brought us back to my car and then I drove from DC to Harrisonburg at zero dark thirty in the morning. I made Katie stay awake and talk to me so I'd stay lively!

We got home this morning and I sent an email to my french teacher telling her I felt pretty rough (cause I did! I'm so sneezy...) and she's allowing me to take the exam tomorrow which is awesome!

And to top it all off, around my 3rd cup of tea in bed this morning, I heard a knock on the door and it was the UPS guy delivering my Mommy/Daughter book club care package! It made me feel SO LOVED! Perfect timing as usual, mommyo! I love everything and I immediately took my cup to starbucks and filled it up with hot tea so I could make it to my second class today!


WOOWWWZAA! That was ONE longggggg-winded post. I promise cookies to anyone who reads this in its entirety... though napping 1/2 way through is completely acceptable.

Cheers to life, Kiddos!
<3 LG

This is what democracy looks like:


Ahh, Life is so good. I am very, very happy with the things God has done for me.

This'll have to be a short update because I have a panel in 15 minutes, BUT! Let me share something with you:

http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/if_god_had_wanted_me_to_be

I had originally posted this on my Facebook, but I took it down when it came to my attention that not everyone might pick up on the satirical aspects of the article... and that they might not know that I know that not every Christian thinks like this. But my heart and prayers go out to those that do, for it must be awful to abhor something and have no valid reason for doing so.

So yes, I decided to post it here because I feel that it is a much more private forum... though that is probably entirely untrue. I have no idea who reads this thing...

ANYWHO!

Last weekend:
Parents Weekend+National Equality March=Amazing.
-I almost met Cheno.
-I marched marched marched!
-I cried. (More on this later)
-I love my parents/family.

This weekend:
NYC!

[UPDATES TO COME!]

Peace, Love & THE POWER OF THE PEOPLE

In case you hadn't noticed, I'm not nor have I ever been skinny. And, what's more, I don't wish to be.



I like the way I look in a swimsuit and the way my clothes fit. Now I'd be lying if I said I didn't wish my abs were flatter or that my arms were tighter, but the things I want to change about my body are strength and fitness related, it's not about size!

Sure, I-like many of my curvy comrades-have experienced a twinge of self doubt while flooded with this media image of beauty. And of course, the fact that so many of my beautiful friends do happen to have smaller waistlines and thinner thighs doesn't help. But I've learned that comparing yourself is only going to damage your own self esteem. I have beautiful friends. & I am beautiful too.

Why is it considered vain to say that? I think every girls everywhere should say it to themselves every morning. It'd raise self esteem, improve relationships and ultimately improve the world. It's the little things, ladies!

Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes.





Look at Marilyn Monroe! She's beautiful, curvy and the penultimate icon of seduction. Not that my goal is marrying Arthur Miller only to die a mysterious death and yet have my image live on to seduce the entire world, but you know what I mean.

So go on! Go look at yourself in the mirror and say it out loud. You are beautiful!

peace, love and beauty